T-Minus 6 Days – The Hits Keep Coming

With the Myrtle Beach Marathon less than a week away, I’ve run into some obstacles that would make Odysseus go, “Damn, dude!”  While not exactly Cyclops or the Sirens, my adventures have been pretty damned daunting.  Let me get you caught up.

As faithful friends and followers of this blog know by now, my condo was basically destroyed recently.  To steal Paul Harvey’s catchphrase, here’s the rest of the story.

Monday, I swung by my condo to survey the damage,  pick up a few things, and rest for a few minutes while I caught up on a little The Ultimate Fighter action on the DVR.  I ventured into my bedroom to find the remote.  Here’s the scene that greeted me:

Can you spot the tiny piece of board peeking out from under the carpet?

Can you spot the tiny piece of board peeking out from under the carpet?

See the glass circle in the upper left hand corner of the photo?  That’s the corner table where my remote resided.  See the board just underneath it?  That is the booby trap laid by the water extraction company, the baseboard torn from the floor and hidden, nail-side up, under the carpet.  Can you guess what happened next?  You got it Sherlock, I reached forward to grab the remote and stepped on a nail in the process.  And being the unlucky kind of guy that I apparently am, I was wearing my brand-spanking-new Chuck Taylors, which for the shockingly uninformed few who don’t know what Chuck Taylors are, they’re old-school canvas tennis shoes with about 3-millimeter thick bottoms, so the nail shot through the right one like butter and jabbed me in the foot.  My response?  Yeah, rated-R, something like this uttered at a very high decibel, “Seriously?!?!?!  Are you $%^&ing kidding me?!?!?”  The water extraction guys are very fortunate that they were not present.

I hopped over to the couch, fell down, and quickly removed my shoe.  I desperately hoped that the skin was not broken, but no way am I that fortunate – blood was already trickling out.  And just to rub a little metaphorical salt into the psychological wound, Fate made sure I had not one moment of relaxation by filling my DVR’s space so that the Ultimate Fighter was never recorded.  Classic move Fate, you big dick – I owe you one.  Queasy folks might want to skip past this next photo (you foot fetish folks enjoy):

Notice the hole beneath the pinkie?  It doesn't look like much but it hurt like a bitch for a few days.

Notice the hole beneath the pinkie toe? It might not look like much but it hurt like hell for a few days.

I spent the rest of the afternoon making arrangements to get a tetanus shot.  Hurray, awesome way to spend the day off, hanging out at Urgent Care since my primary physician was all booked – just the way I dreamed I’d spend my post-Super Bowl vacation day.

Here’s the rest of the running week.  Monday – hobbled, hopping around on left foot.  Tuesday – Limping, still afraid to put weight on painful right foot.  Wednesday – Significant pain remaining, but walking without a limp.  Thursday – Could walk normally with minimal pain.  Friday – first day back to running after the incident, ran the planned marathon-paced tempo, but could not hit splits.  Saturday – 12-mile long run, the last long run of the cycle, felt mostly normal.

Which brings us to today.  While I’m staying at Laura’s, her younger son Warren has taken ill and had a lovely little vomit-filled morning.  Being the paranoid runner I am, with only 6 days left til race day, I have ventured out in an attempt to avoid catching whatever poor little Warren has, and I am basically flipping the %^&* out.  How many more bullets can one person dodge?!?  I am now at my shell of a condo – a shadow of its former self – wading through the carnage in an attempt to find some of my race-day gear.  Wish me (and poor Laura who, abandoned by me, is left to care for Warren on her own) luck.

Fingers crossed, hoping 4-days of forced taper inactivity doesn’t lead to much fitness loss and maybe instead strengthens my immune system enough to fight off whatever Warren has.  I’ll let you know how it all turns out!

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